After I had landed at Schiphol airport having travelled from Bali via Warsaw, my dear friend Rick was there to collect me. I had started my Asian adventure of this year with him and his husband Louis in the Philippines. I had joined them on their return journey to the Netherlands up to Hong Kong where our paths separated. Rick and Louis continued their journey to Amsterdam where they would prepare for the big move to their new house. I stayed in Asia and travelled to Koh Samui in Thailand. Back in the Netherlands, Rick would drive me to their new house. They had been living there for several months, but since I hadn’t seen it yet, it would be brand-new to me.
A new Family Home
Rick and Louis’ new residence is located deep in Amsterdam suburbia at the very edge of the city limits. The house is located only a few hundred metres away from lush meadows where wild cows roam. During my stay at their lovely house we went for a walk through these meadows to a nearby village. In this picturesque village there is a small dairy shop selling excellent produce that comes from the attached farm. Rick and Louis are very happy with their new place and it has been the next big move in their life; moving up the housing ladder from a flat to a family residence with a garden. Although there is just as much love in their new house as in their previous dwelling, I really have to get used to the new location. It literally is at the edge of the city. It is a considerably longer journey to get into town and it is too far to cycle. In addition to the distance, I am very much confronted with my great dislike for suburbia.
Suburban Upbringing
I grew up in suburbia of my home town, which was all quite pleasant until I reached a certain age. There was a lot of space for play and exploration, plenty of greeneries for outdoor adventure and it was generally safe. There was a large man-made recreational lake with a beach nearby where the whole of suburbia and neighbouring villages would hang out on hot days. There were loads of ponds around, so back in the days, when the winters were more severe, we went ice-skating on the ponds in the coldest months of the year. But all that joy wouldn’t last as one was getting older. Living the suburbs, I was relatively far removed from all the action in town and as a gregarious teen, I was keen on being in the provincial thick of it. It was only about a 25-minute bike ride into town, but in those days girls were not supposed to cycle alone after dark. Although I wasn’t scared at all and didn’t mind cycling the distance alone, my father forbade me from doing so, but he wouldn’t drive me either (and my mum never got her driving licence). So, often I was just stuck in the suburbs where nothing ever happened. That I hated the whole situation is an understatement. As a young teen I vowed to never-fucking-ever live in the suburbs. Many years have passed since them, but even now, just visiting the suburbs gives me a sense of unease.
Escape from Provincial Dreariness
Although I’ve chosen to remember my youth as comfortable, despite some deleterious experiences, I’ve always considered it rather boring and tame. In my teens I experienced a great lack of excitement. My secondary school, a highly-rated institution, felt like an academic prison factory. It was highly effective and organised with little room for exciting extracurricular activity. This added to my general sense of disquiet, as school nor my parents seemed able to understand, let alone accommodate, my longing for adventure and non-conformity. From my early teens I dreamt of an exciting life in Amsterdam and travelling all over the world. I have lived a rather eventful life in the capital for seven years before moving to London and travelling across the world. I am very grateful that I have been able to fulfill that dream and I am continuing to make the most of it.
What’s in a Suburb
The suburbs haven’t played a role in my life for many years and up until recently, none of my friends lived in suburbia. My sister lives in a newly built suburb in my home town, but as it is located very close to the city centre and she has quite funky neighbours, I seem to tolerate it. Her neighbourhood doesn’t resemble the suburbia we grew up in. Rick and Louis’ neighbourhood does; very much so, most likely because it was built around the same time. Rick and Louis might be living in the suburbs of a completely different city in a completely different decade. Yet, the remoteness and the seeming tameness of the area takes me back to the angst and disquiet of my teenage years.
My family has moved to suburbia and they say you can’t choose your family. I have chosen this particular family wholeheartedly. However, I can’t choose where they decide to live and choose to be happy.
top image: AVS Amor
second image: heliam.net
Dark Fairy Adventures 
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