At present time there is this island in the North Sea that is ruled by a queen. Her name is Lizzie. Considering the average person on that island lives up to about 80 years of age and tends to stop working long before that, Lizzie is ancient and she is still working, or so one says. In PR terms she is fulfilling her duty. If you ask me, she is fulfilling what she considers her divine right to rule until she drops. Lizzie is married to a nazi-sympathiser, but we are not supposed to know nasty shit like this. Considering his age, he is near death too, but that kind who consider themselves blue-blooded just live longer than the average person in the realm. This nazi sympathiser is called Philip. They tend to call him prince. That is a royal title. The only Prince I acknowledge wrote Purple Rain and tons of other brilliant songs. That is true (rock) royalty, but I digress.
What Philip Did Next
This nonagenarian prince went out driving a few days ago in a massive Land Rover. He caused an accident while pulling out of a side road hitting another car containing three passengers including a 9-month old baby. It has been reported that his Land Rover made a tumble but Philip was not hurt. The other car was badly damaged and one of the ladies in it suffered a broken wrist. Not at all cool, obviously, but it could’ve been a lot worse. Then a few days later this woman with her broken wrist appeared on national telly. Apparently this prince was spotted driving in a new Land Rover without a seat belt a day or so after he caused the accident in question. This lady was lamenting that she found it disrespectful that this prince was wiping his royal arse with the rules (not her words) only a day or so after the accident. She mentioned that she hadn’t heard from this prince or any of his representatives with an apology and she wondered whether the same rules were applicable to her as to members of the royal family. She also said that this man should be prosecuted if possible.
To Get Fucked or Not to Get Fucked
Now, I think that the monarchy is an archaic totally fucked up institution, but I am clearly in the minority. I think the royal-loving or indifferent majority are delusional but I guess everyone has the right to be so. I am going to assume that this lady who got hurt in the accident is not a republican, at least not prior to the accident. The general public quite likes the royal family. I guess people like to admire and look up to other people who look like them but are for some reason deemed special. There is nothing special about the royal family. They don’t have any particular skill or talent. They were just born or married into a certain family. Many complain about the celebrity culture of the recent decade, which tends to be more about being famous for the sake of being famous. Yet, the royal family is no different. If they make a live appearance the general public wants to catch a glimpse of them. If any member of the general public is ‘blessed’ enough to meet any royal in person, they bow like a proper subject. A royal acknowledgement of one’s skills and achievements in the form of a title, is considered one of the highest honours one can get. We are being told the royals are above politics and that they have no influence on the ‘democratic process’. As naive taxpaying subjects we are supposed to believe that just because so-called royals don’t share their political opinion in public that this means that they are not at all trying to exercise their royal influence to get their way. One complains about benefit cheats, but one doesn’t mind wasting their money on the biggest benefit cheats of all. The public loves the pedestal the royals placed themselves on and then at the same time the public wants the same rules to apply to royals as to the subjects of the realm. ‘The Prince should wear a seat belt just like the rest of us. The Prince should be prosecuted for causing an accident and putting three people including a baby at serious risk’. As consort, Philip owns the UK. It’s his realm and he can do whatever the fuck he wants. I don’t think there is such a thing as getting fucked in the arse just a little bit. It’s all or nothing. Same with the monarchy. Either you swallow the fake fairy tale with all the shite that comes with it, or you choose to pop the bubble. If you are cool with an archaic institution like the monarchy, then they’ve got you by the balls and they will squeeze as hard as they can. I suggest you don’t complain about any discomfort.
images: bellacaledonia.org.uk
Dark Fairy Adventures 
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